Sunday

Well this is my usual sunday blog post. I’m not sure how this week has been really. its been an odd couple of days since I weighed in class wednesday.
Thursday I had an ok day, had baked potato with beans n cheese and then went to bingo with the hubby. Had a cheese n ham salad there cos I was famished….didn’t have much luck in bingo mind apart from winning 5 easter eggs LOL typical! Gonna put them away for the kids, they can fight over the spare one. I did kinda have rice and curry sauce from the chippy on the way home but only cos hubby was going there lol
Friday I did well, stayed in my points. Enjoyed a family maeal of faggots, mash and peas, might have gone a little overboard with the mash mind.
Saturrday I couldnt stop eating! I seemed to be constantly hungry all day. Ate alot of fruit to try and combat the munchies.

Today has been rough. Strayed off plan a bit and had a few bourbon biscuits this morning and I usually dont even like them! Cooked a roast dinner for the first time since  I did Christmas lunch I think. Stuffer pork, roast tatties, peas carrots a lil gravy and some apple sauce. I enjoyed it but I think I ate too much. Feeling hungry again today, just had a bowl of cereal to try and fill me up before bed but still feeling like I want to pick.
I hope I can get through the next few days without straying again. I really need a good week to get me back on track

Wednesday WI

Well I bit the bullet and went to weigh in, took my gain like a good girl and did not complain at all.
After a week of going off the rails I was lucky to have escaped with just a 2.5 gain and not more.

Determined to have it back off again by next week, or at least most of it. Going to sit down tonight and plan some meals out so I know what is coming and when, instead of going with the flow and grabbing something when I am hungry.  This way I can say no I don’t need that as I’m having so and so for lunch/dinner etc.
got some fruit in town today after class and gonna try n keep the gannets (kids) away from it, well at least not let them eat the whole bowl in one day, Gonna have a piece of fruit to try to keep my blood sugar levels up and energy to avoid having a slump and urge to eat sugary things.
I have had a sore throat since I got up this morning so I think  I am coming down with something. not that I am surprised seeing as the recent snow/rain/wet days we have been having in good ole Wales. Got caught in the rain today taking  Joshua to preschool. Just gonna try my best to get through it as quickly as possible.

No trip to the forum this week! Saz didn’t make it to class today which in a way is good as no cake lol. I’m hoping she made the afternoon class so ill try to catch up with her and find out if she got her first silver 7 or not.

Here’s to a good week!

Tuesday 23rd

Tomorrows my weigh in and I am not looking forward to it. I have accepted that it will be a gain and that is fine. All my own fault so will just have to draw a line under this past week and start again.

I think my head hasn’t been in it as much as it was the first time I joined fat club. I stopped last time as I was pregnant with my fourth baby so obviously this time I came back heavier that before so I am not feeling the benefits as fast ut I am going to get my arse into gear this week and try my best to gain some momentu and my motivation back.

It is an accheivment to have lost a stone and although I will have a gain tomorrow I am determined to get it back off for next week.
I need to make sure I don’t let this stop me from sticking to plan.
Besides, Saz won’t let me quit. She will drag me to class kicking and screaing if she has too LOL

Tonight I am going to have a  long soak in a hot bath and do a little pampering I think. If the kids go to bed early enough I may even straighten my hair.

Putting this week to the back of my mind and forgetting about it, Looking forward to an outstanding week ahead!

Sunday

I need to rant at myself and get this all out otherwise it will be harder to get over this and i will not be able to get past it.
I have been eating and stuffing since Wednesday weigh in. I don’t know whats doing on with me I have lost all motivation and just been really down.
I havent pointed a thing and every day keep thinking tomorrow will be the fresh start and yet, the next day, it starts all over again. The kids have been home all week as its half term and its been hell on earth at home. The screaming, fighting and arguments have just driven me to comfort eating. They have eaten everything they can get their hands on and there is barely anything left to make a decent meal out of.
I need to work out what is wrong with me, I have been feeling really down since Wednesday and its doing my head in.
I am sick to death of being this size and going into shops seeing fantastic clothes that I can’t even get my head into let alone my body. I have such a long way to go and I can’t see myself getting to the point where I will be happy in my own skin.
I have to basically lose 10 st 5lbs in total which is in reality a whole other person. 145lbs is a hell of a lot for one person to cope with the thought of such a long journey fills me with such hatred or myself that I let myself get to this point and the 14lbs that I had lost up untill last Wednesday just seems so insignificant compared with the 131lbs that is left.
I thought that having my hair cut would make myself feel better about myself but it makes my face look bigger and rounder than before, every time I look in the mirror I see Velma from scooby doo staring back, all I need is the orange turtle neck jumper and I’m her

I HATE IT!!!!!!

I’m basically on one hell of a downer right now and I don’t know what to do about it.
I hope that when the kids go back to school tomorrow my mood will lift and I will be able to get my act together again.
Something just has to click and make sense at some point, right??

Wednesday 17th

Went to weigh in today, not expecting to lose a thing after having a plate of chips (pointed of course) and some home made rice pudding yesterday, I wasnt optomistic at all so was very surprised to have a -1.5 result and my second silver 7.
So in fact I have lost 14lbs and my first stone is gone, I am down a weight bracket and lost a point off my daily allowance.
I don’t know why I am not excited about this as I thought I would have been. Maybe its because I don’t feel like I have lost weight by my clothes. I haven’t gone down a dress size and my face looks the same to me as before. I know you lose weight from odd places at first but shesh. Maybe when we get the new sets of pics done I will be able to compare and see a change. Sposed to have done them today but we forgot about them, was a bit preocupied with Saz’s impending driving test.
Saz added a further 1.5 to her wight loss journey today and she was so happy to see its coming off. She’s aiming to get her first silver 7 next week so fingers crossed for that. She is a hell of alot smaller than me and obviously it comes off at a different rate at first but she is doing fantastic now, I wouldn’t be surprised if she is as goal and gold member by the end of the summer if she keeps going like this.
I got a hell of a way to go myself as I am looking at loosing a whole person. I’m working at loosing it in small mini goals and keeping that at 7lb stages. Allthought I’m near my 5% now which means i need to get another 2lb off to hit that.
Ah well will see what next week brings us x

The weekend

Been an interesting weekend I must say.
As I think I have mentioned before I have been really fancying a pair of jeggings, I was going to put them in my wish book as I figured they would look stupid on a 20st woman but friday I came to a realisation. If I am going to let my weight stop me from wearing a simple pair of leggings what else am I letting it stop me from doing?
So friday I decided I would try to find a pair to try on and SEE what they looked like and as usual Tesco came up trumps for me. I ended up trying and in fact buying a pair of dark blue ones (they also have them in black) so in future I will be using them as my weigh in uniform with a light t-shirt.
On saturday I finally got around to re-colouring my hair, I have been meaning to do it for the last 3 weeks as my grey stripe was getting worse. I don’t go for an outlandish change whenever I do it I just try to get a nice chocolate brown, as close to my original colour as I can get so now I have nice glossy dark brown hair, a swanky new pair of jeggings and all in all had a pretty good weekend.
Hoping to get my hair cut on Tuesday as its getting on my nerves with the baby pulling it whenever he gets the chance, also thinking about having a fringe put back in just for a change like.
Today was a rough day. Had really bad PMT and the kids have driven me insane so I pointed a plate of chips and 2 pieces of bread and butter so I could have a chip buttie. I enjoyed every bite lol.
Sod it if I don’t lose any weight at the next weigh in so be it, I had about 20 points saved from this week so in theory it shouldnt really make a difference but just incase I’m not going to aim for anything for the next weigh in.

Don’t Quit

Tracy7974 posted this on the +5 boards today and I thought it was very apt and so I’m sticing it up on here so that I can find it easily when I need it, I am also gonna be printing it out and sticking it up on the fridge lol

Don’t quit
When you’ve eaten too much and you can’t write it down,
and you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So what you went over your points a bit?
It’s your next move that counts…So don’t you quit!

It’s a moment of truth, it’s an attitude change.
It’s learning the skills to get back in your range.
It’s telling yourself, “You’ve done great up till now;
you can take on this challenge and beat it somehow.”
It’s part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You’re still going to make it, just stay in control.

To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
if you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler’s, when loosing their grip,
just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn’t over…they still could have won
.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you’re pushed to the brink, just refuse to submit,
if you bite it, you write it….But don’t you quit!

Wednesday Weigh In

Weigh in once again upon us and it went as I had expected for myself. I lost the half pound that I was aiming for but I was still a little disappointed even though I knew it was going to be a tough week with my TOTM approaching over the weekend. I always bloat a couple of days before hand, only trouble is that its due over the weekend which means it will probably affect next weeks weigh in aswell.
Saz on the other hand got a brilliant result this week and was chuffed to find that she had lost 3lbs. I think she has grasped the concept of it now so will find it a lot easier as the time goes on.
She was practically bouncing afterwards love her, I think she was getting a bit fed up of seeing me having some big losses while she was getting small or stay the same results. Well it was the other way around this week and I am thrilled for her

Went to the forum for our usual after weigh in treat and had choc flecked cheesecake, nice but I am still dreaming of that bloody mint choc one lmao

Monday 8th

Well today I decided to check up my starting BMI just out of curiosity and it started out at a very high 45. I then put in my weight from the last weigh in and after 2 WIs it has already come down by 2 points to 43. Already there is a difference to something and I can see all the benefits to my health that decreasing my bmi by 10 points will make, also I have noticed my jogging bottoms are looser in the legs, although I still cant do up my fave pair of jeans yet but, I can get them on now, where before I couldn’t get them up my thighs before I joined fatclub.
I have been thinking about maybe getting some kind of charm bracelet that I can add a charm too for every milestone I hit (7lbs lost and 5% 10% etc) but I am pretty skint with hardly any spare money what with the 4 kids so its gonna be hard to do that…so another idea came to me. A Wish Book. I can use it to put things in it I would like to be able to do/wear/have that I cant do now because of my weight.
I have already thought of a few things to go in there like having my wedding vows renewed and the dress I would kill to wear, also I would love to be able to wear jeggings ooo and have seen a stunning pair of soft greay thigh high boots that atm I wouldnt be able to wear because of my calfs .
Atleast all I need for a wish book is a book, pritt stick and a pair of scissors, no big outlay for that now is there.

weigh in on wednesday, not optomistic about it but hey ho, what will be will be as the saying goes

Wednesday Weigh In (WI)

Well weigh in didn’t go as I expected yesterday at all after my little “blip” on monday…
I was expecting to see either a stay the same (sts) or a little gain but to my shock and amazement I got a loss of 4lbs! Means, after 2 weeks, I have lost a grand total of  12 lbs and I am just 2 lbs away from being a whole stone lighter.
                 I didn’t expect to do this well I must admit, I was thinking I’d be well into my second month before I would see nearly a stone dropping off…. Not that I am complaining mind you.

Saz, my lil diet buddy, stayed the same this week. Which she was very pleased with as she thought she would have had a gain. She is more than lucky to have gotten that result after what she told me LOL but I am not allowed to say why or she had promised to kill me if I do.
          although it would make bloody good reading I am still laughing to myself as I type this now but as its pain worse than death facing me if I blab then I think I had better keep it to myself.

And so a fresh week is before me once again and I am already mentally checking the cupboards for what I need to buy in my next shop…This week I am going to try to drink a glass of water when I feel hungry before I eat anything, just in case I’m thirsty and my brain is mistaking it for hunger. I will be aiming for a half pound loss next week as I think my body will get used to all this extra food I am eating and the weight loss will slow to a sensible 1-2lbs per week.

On a side note LOL date with the cake display was enjoyable, had choc orange cheesecake…. not as good as the mint choc I am afraid but still not bad